Tuesday, July 14, 2009

StanHOPEa, in bud

My Stanhopea Occulata, with buds, last March.

Last night, The Most DH left again for work - he has had to be there for fourteen hours of every day for the last ten days - he had only been gone a short while when I felt a shift in myself. At first it was just a subtle urge to go tackle a clutter pile that had eaten my office. But it grew untill I discovered it was midnight, and Id actually been feeling more like myself, and gotten so much done, including a tiny bit of creative work!

I feel almost as though I am back, and its such a relief. Even if we find that this depressive episode is not yet over, I still feel better to be out of the woods as far as that particular anti-depressant went. I am taking a punt that Ive been on the weaning off dose long enough to stop it now, see how today goes.

And since The Most DH is going to be up in a couple hours, and actually be home with me today and tommorrow, you can bet he will get me to call the doctor. Im going to put it off for as long as I can get away with it, Im really apprehensive about being medicated again. Can I just will myself to be not depressed enough to need meds...or am I being delusional about this? Who knows? Thats another thing I can talk to DH about as soon as he is awake enough.

Im off to heat up the espresso machine, he is going to need a double today. He promised to walk the new five kilometre route with me.


No luck finding cushy, springy soled sneakers yesterday. When did sport shoes get so useless? (under $300, LOLb).


Barkfoot said...

I don't think it is delusional to be able to be off meds and happy. Only you can judge what is working for you. See how it goes, day by day. The doctor can only offer his/her educated opinion, the decision as to what treatment to take is yours. Every good day is a bonus.
For springy shoes, you can't go far wrong with Dr.Martens

kj said...

dear friend, there is an award waiting for you on my blog. please come

BetteJo said...

Ugly as hell - as least to me, and I have no idea where you buy them but - people swear by them.


TC said...

Hi Lavender,

Lovely Stanhopea from last March, and the best news of the week:

"I feel almost as though I am back, and its such a relief."

I've been browsing the birds and the beads and on November 28, 2007 came upon

New Quarry

which I thought might perhaps be a Polyommatus icarus or Polyommatus damon and thus a cousin of these beauties I've lately posted

Polyommatus icarus and Polyommatus damon

And while we're on beautiful flue flying arthropods I've also just put up

Dreams of the Blue Morpho

Please don't mind the net and hunt references, I'm against "collecting"... your camera captures are so much better.

Keep on feeling better, it helps me feel better.

Unknown said...

I think I must live in the Prozac capital of the world - tiny Utah County - and you've likely never heard of us. Everyone here feels so guilty for all they cannot do and feel they should that this drug is as common as sticky notes, and more frequently used.
So, I offer congrats for weening yourself off the drug.
I suffer from what the experts would term "situational depression," and it takes all my efforts to keep it at bay and not let it take over my life, so I'm happy for anyone who beats the beast of depression.