But where will I find the time?

Common problem Im sure - for example - here is what my home office looks like on a good day...

Which as you can see, features two computers runnning different tasks.  LOL to the right of the photo is the outer shell of a bathrobe I started making for myself.....in August 2011!!!  In between working a part time job for someone else, I freelance at a couple different things AND try to study 10 hours a week (in a bid to build a new home business for which I need paper credentials, as opposed to just real-world ones...or what used to pass for the real world anyway.)

Im not complaining.  Im #justsayin'

Then, I found the corpses of some of my frog friends.  I dont know why these guys died, but when I found them rotting in the empty plant pot they used to shelter in during the day, well, I just couldnt leave them there.  I scooped them out and put them in a dry place in the sun for a few weeks.  The bones are so fine!  Here they are on a bed of salt before being completely covered in salt. They have been in the salt a few weeks now, I dont know how it will affect them.  When I get around to it, we will see.

And somewhere in the last few months, some stars lined up to push me back in a direction I left behind...I dont know if I even can still make beads...my hands and neck may not allow a good end result....but you know what?  I MISS MELTING GLASS and experimenting with the chemical reactions and the whole process of creation.  So what if what I end up with is an expensive mess - life has got to have some fun, right?

 

I am slowly building my kit up again, and savouring the anticipation.  I will stick with the hot head for awhile, see what comes of this - if I even have any time for it - it doesnt have to be beads - it could be something else - the transformations are still taking place - not all of them ones we would wish for - all the more reason to learn to have some fun where one can?



Transformations

This cheerful fellow spent an hour with me last April.  He would take the sunflower heads from my hand and crunch through each sweet seed - the whole while being a complete charmer and perfectly happy to let me snap away with the lens at times just inches from his beak.  I rate this experience as a prime encounter.

So many changes since I was able to emerge from my shell of grief, and so little time - such a common problem - but the blog and other interests are not getting much of a look in lately, but I believe everything is in a cycle, and it will out work out in time. Even while I keenly feel that the time left to me is shorter than ever.  But thats true for us all.

Lately when I go to the aviary to visit who is left of my flock, (a long sad story in itself), the Wind speaks to me.  I can not make out what Wind is trying to tell me - yet. But I must be patient with myself, I am only just re-connecting with my truer self, and, like any language, if you dont use it, you loose it.

Could it have something to do with Raven?  Raven has become my companion alongside Cat.  Frog is also with me in a big way.  Yes, I am aware that to some I will sound like Ive gone The Full Fruit-Loop.  But others will recognize that Metaphyical Mystic Me has been here the whole time.

So, Ive been transforming, in a big way.  Ive even returned to paid work outside the home, AND am undertaking study via an online university - so time will be short for at least the next year.  But its an investment in a brighter future than I could not have forseen from where I stood in late December 2010.  We have to make the most of what is given to us, and damn it, Im having that, all that. And The Most DH and I will still have things to enjoy, even if they aren't what everyone else is given.  LOL!  We were never big on conformity anyway.

No laughing matter

We had a quick tour of the Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park the other day. The weather was awful, but still we could not resist setting down to make a cup of coffee from our on-board facilities. We found a nice spot at Bobbin Head, and immediately we spotted a potential new friend.

While The Most DH got the water boiling, I introduced myself to this Laughing Kookaburra. He was in no mood for laughter as he was cold and wet, and certain that there would be no warm lizard for his lunch.

He was rather hoping we were planning on sizzling some sausages, and was a bit disgruntled to learn that there was nothing of the sort with us this trip. But still he did allow me to take plenty of photos, nice Chap!

Bonne Chance: Homeless Freedom

I think what brings cats into my garden is, firstly, an absence of dogs. Followed closely by an abundance of birds. Add a drought sparse shrubbery and any cat can find a perfect spot to either bake in or escape the sun...and if one is really lucky, lunch will just land beside you! Gotta love the service in a place like that.



By the end of March, as you can see, he is comfortable with me being around him. Although that only lasts untill about the three foot mark - then he will retreat. To the three foot mark. Must just be his personal space requirement.



He will allow me to sit with him while he eats. I talk softly to him in an attempt to gain more trust. One day I asked him "When are you going to let me pet you? Ive got to get you socialized so you can have chance at a real home." While licking his whiskers, he looked up momentarily, I had the impression he was doing the cat equivalent of rolling his eyes.

Pressing the issue I continued, saying "Look, I know what its like out on the streets. It was a long time ago, but I remember like yesterday! The never being at ease, danger everywhere, long, long, neverending nights, sleeping in the day when its safer - and winter! How cold is winter? Dont you want to come in from the cold?"

He may have stuck his nose deeper into his dish, but he continued eating, and then I remembered something about my street days.

Under my breath I said "Of course, there is a sort of...freedom."

And I kid you not. He raised his head. He looked me right in the eye.

I felt his answer.

"Exactly!"



And as he walked away up the path, I realized why I care so much for this feral cat. We are kindred spirits in our way. Both a bit too damaged to ever really come in from the cold. Both doing our best living on the fringe of 'society', consumed entirely with the business of just getting through each day.

Voice of the (Bunya) Nut

It had been sitting in a shady spot on the concrete porch landing. Now at the end of January, it was completely dried out, and very much lighter.

As I pick it up, a number of cockroaches run out. A disgusted, but alarm tinged "UGH!" escapes me. No doubt the roaches made similar exclamations, as I turf them out of thier beautiful home with flicking fingers.

Now at my leisure to study it, this orb of a nut felt brittle.

Then as I turned it over in my hands it made a sound!

A papery, urgent whisper...

"Drop me on the earth!"

__________________
We had thought we might try eating some of the seeds, but after my close encounter with its former residents, the roaches, No Thank you!
But we will attempt to germinate them as per the original plan.

Purple danced with the Roses

For me, part of the allure of the grasses is the way they give another voice to the air. The sounds grasses make with a breeze, or gale. The air and the grasses sing a duet, and they dance it as well. Iam easily entranced by thier interaction, and sorely long to join them. I dont think I belong in the suburbs. I feel smothered by the people, and cut off from the spirit of the Earth. In my front yard here in the suburbs, I dont feel free to cast off my fetters and dance with the wind and the grass. I am living in the wrong time, arent I? And speaking of time, I must run again - pity, what I had to say here could have been alot more eloquent but for the want of time.

If no one is looking, go dance with the grasses!