Thursday, January 29, 2009

Twelve and a half things about me


I owe Ces Twenty Five Things about Me, and Ive been meaning to do it for a couple days now. But after I got robbed of a few hours on Tuesday - I havent been able to catch up! So here is Twelve and a Half Things about Me:

1) I abhor the telephone. I would rather Taser myself than answer or make a phone call. Text messaging is the best thing since the discovery of fire, I swear.

2) I love to write letters, and consider a good letter an art form. Sadly, everyone I know who shared this passion has either died, or disappeared!

3) I am supposed to be out doing the grocery shopping right now.

4) This is actually quite hard, coming up with so many things about oneself...

5) I very rarely wear anything besides black below my waist.

6) See how hard this is?

7) I thought I knew what love was, and that it pretty much sucked sweaty ones. Then I met The Most DH, and found out what love really is. Entirely different.

8) Ummmmm, lets see. Oh yeah! But, oh, wait. No. No, No, NO!!

9) When I was eight years old, I wrote my first dissertation. I titled it "A Comparative Analysis of Fairy Tales". My source material was a complete collection of Andrew Lang's Fairy Books (wiki), which Id found on a very high shelf in my Great Grandmother's library. They were first editions, and gorgeous.
The dissertation was lost over the years as were the original books. Years later I bought the entire series of Lang's books to revist them. Paperbacks, but still very nice. Then, unexpectedly I migrated to Australia. My friend Mary 'inherited' the collection. Cant find copies here. Boo Hoo!

10) Doesnt that make you wonder about how the world has changed for children, and perhaps wonder too, at what a curious and unusual child I was. I guess I was. Its a long story. Ive been threatening an autobiography. Im just waiting for one more person to die, then I can tell the whole infernal, sordid story.

11) Geeze, that sounds very Oculus Sinister, doesnt it. Isnt there something a little 'lighter' I can share...

12) Um, Im having surgery next tuesday to remove a painful, but supposed benign, lump from my right breast. Is that lighter? Is that Too Much Information (TMI)? Im happy about it, because it hurts whenever it is touched or even brushed against something, FOR THE LAST EIGHT YEARS. About six months ago I plucked up the courage to make a stink. I told my GP that I would aspirate a sample from it myself, and bring it to her to send to the lab. THEN she agreed to refer me to a surgeon, and now finally next tuesday I will be free of this nuisance!
Now because the hospital I am going to has a bad reputation, I will be circling the area of the lump with a magic marker in case they put me under before I can talk to the surgeon. Thier Gods better be ready to help them if I wake up with the wrong thing missing. Mark my words.

AND A HALF: A lady from down the street caught me in the garden yesterday morning. She asked if it was true that I was an American. I gave her my now standard reply, that I prefer to pretend Im Canadian - at least till we see what Obama does. She then said she had been given an American cookbook, and could not figure out what it meant by ......


To be continued???

10 comments:

Young Werther said...

Lav, thoughts will be with you next week as you brave the hospital system (bad headlines in the SMH today).

And yes, definitely "To be continued!" when you're back on your feet.

barkfoot said...

I hate the telephone too. It never brings good news... it's always someone you don't know or don't want to speak to, it's never a convenient time, and usually they want you to do them a favour or go somewhere you'd rather not.... Damn it's evil ring!
Good idea with the marker pen, although maybe a large arrow rather than a circle, we don't want them taking too large a 'bite'!
Best of luck.
P.S. How about some cheery coloured markers...keep the surgeon happy and on side ;~)
Maybe some flowers and hearts.. No, scrap the hearts, he might get the wrong end of the stick, we don't want any extra pig valves fitted!...

kj said...

lavender, i'm not blogging much these days but i have to tell you how much i enjoyed reading these tidbits about you, that i am glad you are with DH, and that i can't wait for the remaining twelve and a half. oh, and here's to your hospital procedure being done and more done.

:)

ps thanks too for the awards. i'll comment on those later.

BetteJo said...

Ay yi yi! Hate the phone too. I rarely do memes anymore that ask for "things" about me because I have a link to 100 things I managed to think up about me and if there is anything else even remotely interesting - it comes out of my mouth at the worst times.
A dissertation at 8?? That WOULD make you a different kind of child for sure. I think at that age I was blowing spit bubbles or something.
And finally - glad you're getting rid of the lump, yes it's benign, that's all well and good. But it will be much nicer GONE.

Ces said...

Hahahaha! You are a hoot and a half! I had so much fun reading this. I wish your dissertation is still available. You are right about the state of intellect these days and not just in children! This digital age is making everyone illiterate.

Good luck with the hospital visit. I'll be thinking of you. Eight years! Is that the outcome of nationalized healthcare?

Melanie said...

well I would love to wave a pointy finger whilst *cough* free health care, wth wait 8 yrs*coughing* but I am the same as you so I wont. I have had a few of those kind of procedures and it ruined my career as a stripper( ok that was a joke, i dont even shower because it involves nakedness).
I loved your meme and I genuinely gasped when I got to the lump bit.
So take care and good for you for making it all get fixed.

My Budgies of the fictional town of Budgewoi said...

love your wit!
ditto on the telephone and letter writing.
my first dissertation was at 16 - i wrote an essay on nature V nurture (as if I didn't have enough homework). It is also lost and now i think it's not "or" but "both".
good luck with the procedure, yeah that tenderness can be a nuisance.
...Ms Bud.

areeiro said...

Wow, what a revelation! Great to get to know something about yourself on your blog. Must try that “25things about me” thing too sometime. I laughed a lot reading this. You have a very funny side writing! The LOL bitterly comes out a lot!
Telephones, hmm, I like them as long as they display the number of the caller, LOL! Otherwise text messaging is a good thing, although I have to tell you that can also be quite dangerous, because people do not see your face nor hear your voice to interpret what you mean and one has to choose the words to text very carefully to avoid misinterpretations....
That writing a little dissertation on fairytales at the age of 8 is so sweet!!! I have tried to be creative when I was a child but never this consequent. Finally had 10 construction sites and none got finished! I’m impressed with your dedication at that age. Would laugh to read it though, sorry it went missing!
Sorry to hear about your operation! It is definitely the right decision to do something about a problem. Everything will go well I’m sure! However, will remember the text marker strategy if I sometime may have to deal with surgery! Can really imagine the fear to wake up with the wrong part missing!!! I wish you all the luck with that, will be thinking of you and look forward to the next 12.5 things about you! Hugs

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I did 25 on a Facebook meme. I should have added that ?I like to write letters as well.

Lavender said...

Im speechless, thats rare! Thank you each and every one of you, you are all brilliant friends and although words fail me now, I do appreciate your thoughts and your having taken the time to share them. Mwah!!!!